Sunday, March 16, 2008

Analysis ! becoming the balancer :

conclusion :
"there is alot of contradiction in my life and it is clear to me now more than ever before and it used to bother but then it hit me ! i am the manifistation of human contradiction"
i went to the mosque to pray the friday prayer in jumirah a few weeks ago , with my... um ex- boyfriend , we shared a special bond (your not gonna deny that are you? )
after that we went swimming (lots of hot guys were there!lol) , after swimming and checking guys out , we went back to my ex's place fornicated abit .
we went clubbing to peppermint night club after that , saw a few frieds and was exposed to the underground gay scene here in dubai (it was cool).
then the contradiction hit me in the face while i was dancing !!
i was being like two persons !!
one who prays at the mosque , and the other shakes his booty on the dance floor !
i thought about it alot , how my actions contradicted itself .
but that is who i am !
a balancer that's what i want to be , balance things in my life to gain my own unique prespective on life .
(this post was two weeks late , sorry been busy and abit lazy )

Thursday, March 13, 2008

في وصف الحال

ألا يا طائر الحب رفرف بعيدا عن الهوى

أجف نهر الحب بعد أن كل منا قد ارتوى؟

قل لي ما هذا الذي بيننا؟ أهو شهوا قد كوى؟

أم انه الحب الذي يرتقي بالروح و العقل و ما احتوى ؟

قد نفرنا من بعضنا بعضا و لم أكن لقلبك و همومك دوى

فأهلا بغموض و حيرة لم أعهدها كضباب الفجر في يوم صيف قد شوى

فوالله قسما قد تجلت عظمته ! ستظل ذكراك في روحي كطيب مسك ما التوى

Saturday, March 8, 2008

to the seagull ( not the bird ! )

on the 8th of december , i looked high up the sky !

the seagull spreads his wings forever

with a pretty smile that lights up the day !

with lips ever so delicious , like konaffa !

never feel blue ! fly with your wings ever so joyful

forever happy is my wish for you

always warm , always content , with a sexy body none the less (ops!)

i had the weak knees last time ! never had it before

never did i feel so weak to a guy , only you who has touched me deep

i think i'm getting too emotional here

forever happy is my wish for you

so dumb and confused with feelings of lust and affection !!

forgive me this peom to you , surround me with your wings oh seagull

i love the way you talk , the way you walk damn your so hot baby !

forever happy is my wish for you

it is privilage being with you , showering in your aura

know peace inside your soul , calm the storms in the deep ocean of your mind

for we may not see the same picture , share the same ideas as we differ

but i will say this to you : you are special , your soul is warm

forever happy is my wish for you

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

a bad day .. a bad begining of a new year (not so happy birthday me!)

the day started while i was sick , late and have a big mess to sort out (that is my life and um .. exams and projects)
didn't feel like walking to class so i took my car and parked it near the class (not seeing the sign that says it isn't allowed to park in that area)
finished my class and came to find my car locked with a locking device ! (bastards couldn't they just write me a ticket ! it was 9 in the morning!)
then i went to the doctor got my medicine and notes and went back to my room , just when i was about to lay my head on the my pillow (tears on my pilow!lol) i got a phone call from my friend :
hey "...." call your friend "..." his father died ! and i felt sad for my friend !
losing your old man is never easy specially at his age .
i called him but he didn't answer , then i thought about calling my dad (i know kinda lame but people's heart are vunerable to death" i said hi and we talked for a while .
then my father said : "...." did you know? your childhood friend? the eldest of the family that used to live next door? he died on a car accident yesterday , fell asleep while driving . (three guys i know were claimed by car accident please drive safely!)
shared some nice childhood memories with him , but i haven't seen him in long time .
i still can't remember his face completely and that's what's killing me !
i feel like i forgot something important , a period in my life where i was pure and truly , ignorantly and blissfully happy !
i went to work on my report , left campus to get it printed . then i went back to my cave , i logged on my msn and chilled for abit thinking about life and how young my friend was .
my bf logged in and we started chatting , and we got into an argument not a few hours ago :(
i said things that i regret , i don't deny that i'm young and foolish .
i'm sorry dear

what a tough day ! it's 3am and i will reach 22 in three hours !!
fuck it i'm going to bed ! then wake up early to study for an exam !